Things My Dad Taught Me
Four years ago (12-1-15) my dad was passing peacefully at a beautiful hospice facility in Florida. It was just a few miles away from where he’d practiced medicine most of his life. The peace my brother and I found there helped my dad transition to Heaven in God’s Grace.
Being at hospice was, however, not my father’s plan. He’d chosen to die at home which did not happen.
I’ll start right here with what I’ve learned from the good doc, Mickey. These are only a few of times with dad that I’m thinking of now. He always made me laugh until I cried. I wish I’d saved some of his stories to share here . There are just too many!
As a doctor he had a stellar reputation and was proud of so many diabetics and others he kept healthy and walking. The list is long but here are some of the strange but normal Mickey-isms.
1. Always have a plan B.
My father grew up in a rough part of Philly called Strawberry Mansion. Each street of row houses were of different and divided ethnicities. His mom was a bad-ass card player, a family trait, but not motherly. He grew up rough and learned young to plan ahead or run! For Mickey, his plan was education for elevation. For his children, he saved money.
2. Apply yourself at work and always continue to educate.
Mickey was able to attend a privileged high school and college after earning full scholarships. He graduated early, was offered medical scholarships and became a foot surgeon by 23. He continued to learn, teach and lead in his field. As I mentioned, he was a special man to many patients. I ran barefoot at the barn!
3. I’m going to die when I’m 50.
For the love of God, he told me this a thousand times. Heart problems were common in his family, primarily the men including his dad and brother who did die young. Mickey lived to 83 after a triple bypass about 20 years prior. The key: Mickey always did 100 sit ups and 100 push ups every morning, every day. He loved yard work and between these exercises he stretched out his life expectancy. I’m so grateful. He also passed on the love of exercise to me and his grandchildren.
4. Mickey did have a heart!
I always knew he loved me and my half-brother. As far as my mom, I recall ducking flying ash trays between the two.. My parents divorced six months after I married. It didn’t take long for Mickey to seek out his high school girlfriend. They lived another 20 years before his love died of lung cancer (she was a non-smoker). While they were in their honeymoon phase he left her love notes, expressed feelings and emotions I’d never seen. Lesson learned here for me is to love and love hard. Let there be no boundaries when you find your soul mate (assuming it’s healthy love).
5. Stop being a door mat. You’re too nice.
My dad always told me I was too nice and vulnerable. He told me many times to stop being a door mat. A kinder version would be in the song Rhiana sang, “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” I’m embracing this dad.
6. Never pay to take a job.
Plain and simple. Mickey didn’t believe in network marketing or anything you pay to start. He believed in old fashion work for pay, to save, live within your means and invest. Ironically I truly suck at networking marketing. His words stuck or influenced me beyond his grave.
7. Marry within your religion.
Mickey, married twice so he said, was never married in his religion. Considering he was an opinionated man, his beliefs took over rather than blended. The difference caused chaos and divorce. I regretfully repeated this pattern against my dad’s advice. I’m divorced.
8. Tupperware story and friends.
My dad shared a story with me that happened to his mom. One party changed who she trusted and befriended. He told me this as I was losing many friends.
After enduring a serious surgery then an even more scary bout of cancer, I missed a monthly Bunco game often. I was fatigued, sick and scared. The ladies said, “Who can be sick for a year?” They cut me out. Actually it was for the best as I was struggling for two years only to then suffer the loss of my dad and other close relationships after cancer. Lesson learned here is to treasure your health and any support you have. I had my brother and several dear friends who helped me. I’m grateful and I tell God every night.
9. Sports and Stocks
Mickey taught me so much about investments, baseball, football, boxing, betting, muting announcers he hated and the art of watching sports all day. My son inherited those traits so it’s a blessing that I feel at home when sports are on and the parties are in full swing. My dad’s tombstone reads, “He had a good turn at bat.”
I can think of so many funny things Mickey said and did. He was hysterical, a great writer and joke teller, a bad-ass drill Sergeant, a brother, uncle, husband and he was our dad. He was a lady killer and found a couple of beauties he called “arm candy” a time or two. Not a nice statement but definitely a Mickey-ism. He often told me to wear heals when I dressed up to show off my legs. He’d get arrested for that now. For me, it works every time!
Beyond looks, Mickey encouraged not only his children but many he met to seek out education as a means to success. He was a great man who believed in his children and provided “the good, bad and the ugly” which shaped my brother and me into strong, smart and funny people. Dad, you’ll always be my hero and know you’re loved, prayed for and adored.
PS According to dad, WD40 fixes everything! Peace and love ©️2019
Did I really write my true age?!
I’m 53 and just experienced my first Friendsgiving! Admitting my age is unlike me but I’m learning to embrace the wisdom that comes with the growth and journey of life.
This picture says a thousands words. This is a mixed group of couples, singles, teenagers and babies coming together to give thanks for friendship and the bounty of blessings we have.
Somehow the men escaped the kitchen picture. Sunday football was on the outside patio of this inviting, waterside home. Who would blame them?
Our hosts are originally from Michigan where they learned a lot about loving family and friends. The more the merrier is something they truly believe.
Pictured here are just a few of the wonderful women who’ve become close along with our significant- others, and single friends. It is solely due to our upbeat hosts from Michigan that this tradition is now here for us!
The best part was just being there, being welcomed with warm hearts and happy thoughts. The food was amazing representing everyone’s favorites from the North, South, and even Peru. I ate collard greens for the first time, even though I’m a southern gal, and they were delicious. Now I know how incredible collard greens are. My mama was right!
For a multitude of reasons I’ve never had my very own holiday traditions although I’ve been surrounded by family which is a huge blessing.
I just never had my shot at it. When it came to traditions, I became a follower not a leader due to circumstances out of my control.
I’m blessed and I’m grateful regardless because I’ve survived many difficult holidays including a few involving divorce, cancer and loss.
Through these times I prayed and worked with all my heart to make the holidays special for my children. They are grown now and I can’t wait to see what traditions they bring.
But this gathering felt like it was for me – for us – to celebrate what it is to have cherished friends. It felt really, really good. It took the chill out of holiday blues.
I’m thankful to these special people for bringing a new Friendsgiving tradition into my life. I’m extremely grateful to you all!
PS TY Don Z ©️2019
Warm hearts ♥️
When You Think The Files Are Gone!
Crafting words is a talent. Many times the words just flow. As a writer of blogs for clients, I have the unique gift to write about any topic.
As important as words so too are the graphics. “A picture tells a thousand words.” Together words and pictures merge uniquely for a sole purpose of sharing messages.
Well stop my beating heart! It is a bad feeling when you open the file to find it empty. It’s not funny friends! What a heart stopper to think of the content lost.
There aren’t thousands of blogs yet but I treasure what I’ve shared. I can’t recreate￼ them!
Luckily, I was able to retrieve them. Lessens learned here include: understand how best to use programs, save and back up documents; copy-write your blog and trade mark your brand.
Lastly, not all blogs have to be long. Get to the point and move on. Your readers will love you for it.
Facebook kindly reminded me today that I first joined 10 years ago. Wow! A decade, duh but seriously, a decade. Then and now I’m amazed at the ability it gives us to connect, share and often divide.
Many say that people consistently post happy, everything is fine, bla bla posts. I disagree. After a 10 years of being on FB and raising amazingly intelligent, digitally integrated children who actually do have the best posts, not everything is always peaches and cream.
Yet, many needs are met: people connect; emotions have an outlet; children are rescued; animals are adopted; emergencies are blasted and even love happens.
I do realize the dangers and advise all to safe guard your children, family, and friends from toxic social media outlets.
That being said, I can attest to having breast cancer, deaths, a million reason to complain, I have been able to turn to a digital community of incredible souls who support me when some barely know me. Those far from me can send me a digital hug. Those nearby pray for me. What a blessing!
Perhaps my perspective is rainbows and butterflies because I hear so many complaints about this & that with social media. My perspective is the more you can share love – the joyful vibes, posts, jokes, successes, goals, trips, love, pets, and kids – the better. Keep them coming.
Lastly, realize FB is now integrated with Instagram which opens even more doors. They have free webinars this week updating changes. Enjoy the ride of learning social media and it’s benefits. ©️
#socialmedia #positivity #friendsmatter #Facebook #community #sharejoy #keeplearning
Go ahead. Call me a crazy cat lady. What you may not know is I’ve been blessed to share my life with amazing horses, the best dogs, cats you can’t forget, birds that talk, and even geckos.
To walk a mile in my shoes, you’d learn how each one was and is unique. I won’t argue here which is the smarter (some are just plain dumb too).
Undoubtedly domesticated cats are very “in tune” to people and their environment.
Lovey, pictured above, was not only resting there because the dog was driving her nuts. She intuitively knew I was troubled, a bit sad.
My rescue cat preferred a metal pole more than a pillow as long as she was by me. On a deeper level, I was having a bad day and she knew it. The dog knew it. They all did.
That’s a big part of understanding animals. Understanding that they really do understand you. Not everyone has the same view point about pets but, “to each his own,” as they say.
I’m grateful to the joy they bring me. If you feel the same, I bet you feel blessed. Give them the same loyalty and care as they give you.
The sun rose the next day after Lovey slept on my head all night. Another slate wiped clean. The pets bounced around ready to great meet me and the day.
One can’t help but smile. Having animals in my life keeps me grounded, responsible and joyful.
When possible, donate to your local no-kill shelters or where you deem helpful. There are several in my area and beyond, including one assisting in Puerto Rico for the second time this February. (Comment request for info).
Wishing you pet love. Peace. ©️
EAD Creations ™️
#loveanimals #peace #sweetpets #cats #dogs #bekind